


clean up in aisle 108 (aka peter, harley and shuri unleash hell on public property)

by writingjade



Category: Black Panther (2018), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: BAMF Harley Keener, Chaotic Harley Keener, Chaotic Peter Parker, Chaotic Shuri, Don't Try This At Home, Gen, Genius Shuri (Marvel), Harley Keener & Peter Parker Friendship, Harley Keener Is A Legend, Hide and Seek, Home Depot, IKEA Furniture, Lightsabers, Meme Lord Peter Parker, Meme Lord Shuri (Marvel), Memes, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Beta Read, Peter Parker & Shuri Friendship, Peter Parker is a Mess, Peter is smol, Stupidity, They Are All Stupid, They Are Chaotic, This Is Totally Canon Guys, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark is So Done, YouTube
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-02-28 16:57:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18760597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingjade/pseuds/writingjade
Summary: “Sir, there seems to have been a major payment made on your credit card.” JARVIS broke the silence in his lab.“Say what?”“There has been a payment of $4,206.90 spent on your credit card.”“Okay, that’s not a lot of money. Wait. Where?”“At IKEA sir.”Or: Peter Parker, Shuri and Harley Keener decide to steal Tony's credit card and go try not to get arrested for vandalism or destruction of public property. Because that would be bad on Spider-Man's resume (rez-ah-may)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mag_and_mac](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mag_and_mac/gifts).



> so here i am writing this lolol enjoy. rach this ones for you 
> 
> also my  tumblr 

“Alright, it’s me, Shuri and Harley and today we are going to IKEA! And that’s pretty much all you have to know.” Peter said as he jumped out of the car that Harley just parked.

 

“We will be trying to draw as much attention as possible because Peter is a deprived bean who craves that sort of thing.” Harley said as he started walking behind him, Shuri snorting at the jab. Peter started protesting as they continued to walk into the giant store.

 

When they entered the store they made their way to the escalator Harley was holding the camera filming Peter and Shuri began running down the stairs that were moving upwards, they obviously didn't get anywhere and Harley just laughed at them.

 

“Hey dumbasses, the escalator is moving upwards!” He laughed at them.

 

“That’s the point whiteboy.” Shuri called back.

 

* * *

  
  


After they got to the top floor of the store Peter started leading them around giving them a tour.

 

“This here, my internet friends, is a stool. You use it to beat your friends when they don't watch meme review.” He said picking up a plastic chair with ease and throwing it at Harley who squeaked and ran, the camera fumbling around in his hands and Shuri just stood there giggling and then she chucked a pillow at Peter’s face.

 

“Ack!” Peter was stunned before he ran away from Shuri into the childrens area, he took the camera from Harley and continued to run. He climbed into an [orange chair](https://www.google.com/search?q=orange+egg+chair+ikea&rlz=1C1JZAP_enCA777CA777&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=bGLQXbJtj2OAMM%253A%252C0SsfXjXMro5UNM%252C_&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kQxObr2Vrl6U9Sm4ULJiaxvaqDGGA&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiPjpju8oziAhWmwlQKHToXBdgQ9QEwAHoECAkQBA#imgrc=bGLQXbJtj2OAMM:&vet=1) that has a cover over it, it looks like an egg and Peter was crammed inside of it.

 

“Im very squished right now. I should prolly get out of here.” Peter stated to the camera before he crawled out to face Harley who was holding some kind of baton. “Nevermind my plan hath changeth.” he said before slowly squishing himself back in the chair waiting for Harley to be gone.

 

“Peter, get out we are going to the food court!” Harley flipped up the cover exposing Peter, who hissed at the light even though it barely affected him. “Stop being a drama queen.”

 

“Mother trucker!” Peter called when he tripped out of the chair. “Hey, what happens if Mr. Stark finds out we are here?”

 

“He will probably disown us for playing in an IKEA when he could order his overpriced designer furniture from some online store.”

 

“What's the point of an online store if you can't run around and make a mess of all the merch?” Peter asked right before he chucked a bouncy ball across the store. It landed somewhere on the other side of the building with a loud _crash_. “Uh, whoopsie?”

 

“Hey idiot, was that you?” Shuri asked as she came strolling in on a wheely chair. She laughed at Peter’s pale face. Harley zoomed the camera in on it laughing his ass off. “Of course it was you. Why was I expecting anything less.”

 

* * *

 

  
“Okay bois. We are in the food court of the famous IKEA. I'm going to pile up with fries and desserts and put it on Tony’s card that I have here.” Harley showed the camera a credit card that had Tony’s name on it, but the numbers were blurred out.

 

“And i'm going to purchase a bunch of unnecessary items and then we will redecorate Mr. Stark’s lab!” Peter said jumping into the frame, high fiving Shuri after.

 

“We gonna eat first because if Peter doesn't have his juice box he will go feral and scratch somebody's eye out.” Shuri said, you could hear a faint “it's true” from Peter in the background before the video cut to the next part.

 

The video showed Shuri by the drinks and soda fountain.

 

“Peter! Come in here and get y’all juice!!” She screamed, causing a couple people to look at her. Peter came running in tripping over because Harley stuck his foot out, causing him to crash into the counter and breaking in one of the doors.

 

“Oh shit.” Peter said before he took out a five dollar bill and setting it by the broken door. “Um, we should prolly leave.”

 

* * *

  
  


The camera panned out to show Harley sitting on the couch looking at a blank TV screen. Peter was holding the camera.

 

“Harley what are you doing”

 

“Just watching TV.” he said motioning to the black screen.

 

“You’re in IKEA,” Peter replied continuing the vine. “It's not on.”

 

Harley looked baffled as his face darted around the store with the X-Files theme edited into the video. The two boys just started laughing and rolling around the carpet.

 

Harley took the camera and moved it over so it was filming Shuri, who was sitting in front of a TV and a remote taken apart.

 

“What the hell are you doing” Harley asked walking up to her.

 

“I'm making a phone.” She said walking over to a bin of chargers and batteries and taking a few.

 

“In IKEA?”

 

“Yes genius.” Shuri said. Harley just walked back to Peter who was running around and jumping onto a wheely chair.

 

“NYOOOOOOOOOM!!” Peter yelled as he went zooming by Harley. He crashed into a bin holding pillows. “I think we need to get this chair Harles.” he said under the big pile of pillows. Harley laughed, walked over checked the number on the chair and wrote it down on a piece of paper for when they went to the department to get the items.

 

* * *

  
  


“Oh, we need this!” Peter said as he threw random curtains in the cart.

 

“Where the hell are we going to put curtains in a lab?” Shuri asked.

 

“Um over Harley so nobody has to look at him, duh.” Peter replied

 

“Hey!”

“What's Riktig Ögla?” Peter picked up a small baggie of clamps. “Oh, what about Fyrkantig?” Peter said, obviously pronouncing the name wrong. Shuri just laughed at him.

 

* * *

  


“Alright guys, we are going to play hide and seek. We will be using all floors and we will also be picking out things to buy while playing.” Peter said as he was running, he started to huff a little bit bit the camera crashed around when Harley came out of nowhere and tackled Peter.

 

“What the fuck Richard?”

 

“You can't hide from me!” Harley screamed into Peter’s ear. Peter’s attention was somewhere else though.

 

“Oh look! That's a nice desk! I can draw my Captain America fan art on it!” Peter pointed to a black computer desk with two shelves above it.

 

“Whatever. Where’s Shuri?”

 

“Hiding in the place with all the boxes.” Peter replied.

 

“Alright, that's where we are going.”

 

Harley and Peter ran to the staircase and Harley just ran down skipping steps, Peter hopped on the rail and rode down. Running and leading Harley through a large aisle with tall shelves and oversized boxes that were lined up on them.

 

“Shuri!! Where the fuck are you!!” Harley screamed and Peter gasped and whacked the back of his head.

 

“You just commit a crime against thy Captain Freedom!”

 

“Oh please. You called him a ‘spangly ass fugitive fucker’ before.” Harley said.

 

“Because Mr. Stark said I was allowed to be mean the _one_ time.” Peter whined. They walked into a new aisle and Peter’s spidey sense went off really loudly and forced him to jump out of the way. Shuri jumped off the fifth shelf from the bottom and since Peter moved she landed right on the floor with a loud thud.

 

“Oh mother trucking shitcicles. Why?!?!” Shuri yelled as she got back up, she walked over grabbed a box and yeeted it at Peter’s head hitting him square in the face.

 

“Found you.” Harley said behind the camera

 

“Okay. I'm gonna take the camera this time and you and Peter hide.” Shuri said taking the camera out of Harley’s hands. “3,2,1 go! You have 3 minutes!” Shuri shouted after them, both boys taking off in two different directions.

 

* * *

  


“What the hell are you doing here?” Harley asked Peter. Harley climbed up into the top bunk of the bunk bed.

 

“Hiding genius.” Peter replied diving back under the covers.

 

“How did you even get up here? The ladder is blocked off.” Harley questioned sitting on top of the covers Peter was under.

 

“I have spider powers. Better question would be how you got up here?” Peter peeked an eye out from beneath the covers.

 

“I pulled a stool up. It doesn't matter.” Harley looked around the store. “Shit!” was all he said before he dived under the covers with Peter.

 

“What the hell?” Peter grumbled when Harley slightly squished him. “Out of all the bunk beds you could have picked, you chose this one?”

 

“Oh well i'm sorry that I didn't want to be found and recorded in a pink princess bed.” Harley said, his words dripping with sarcasm.

 

“Well it would suit you well.” Peter complained before Harley shushed him. “What?”

 

“I saw her coming up the escalator. Now shut up.”

  


* * *

  


Shuri was holding the camera so it was pointing at her face as she let the escalator move her up to the second floor.

 

“If I know anything about those two idiots i released into this godforsaken store, its that Peter will be either in a small corner or close to the ceiling. And Harley will somehow miraculously find Peter and hide with him because they have this idiot sense that attracts them together.” Shuri spoke to the camera as she quietly made her way around some display rooms and furniture. She walked into a bedroom setup that was pink and had a white vanity and a pink twin bed with a white bed frame. Shuri just shrugged her shoulders and kept moving to the next setup that was blue.

 

This one had a bunk bed and a computer desk with a cool lamp. The room looked very empty but she got on her tiptoes to look at the top bunk. _Bingo._

 

“Wassup fuckers!” she shouted as she flung up the blanket revealing (1) Harley Keener laying on top a Peter Parker who looked very uncomfortable and squished. “Well, well, well. What have you two been up to?” Shuri sent them and amused glanced as they fumbled around to jump off the bed.

 

“Hiding.” Peter said before he left the ‘room’ to go to the next.

 

“He loves me.” Harley winked to the camera before following Peter. Shuri laughed and walked behind him.

 

“Hey Peter, I think it's your turn to seek now.” Shuri told Peter looking around at the plush animals and picking one up.

 

“Nah, I think we need to get a bunk bed.” he replied.

 

“Why the fuck do we need a bunk bed in the lab?” Harley asked walking back up to the group.

 

“Just cause.” Peter shrugged before getting the number for a pink bunk bed.

 

* * *

  
  


“Tag!” Peter yelled pushing Harley over before running and jumping over a bin full of squeaky toys then running down the store.

 

“Motherfu- you’re gonna die for that you lil asshole!” Harley shouted running after Peter only to trip on the bin of squeaky toys. He landed on a few causing them to go off and make annoying squeaks that echoed throughout the floor. “Shit.”

 

“Someone’s coming.” Shuri snorted, pushing Harley up and running after Peter to the pick up department.

 

* * *

  
  


“Okay so we are just going to pick up our items and leave?” Peter slightly pouted. “But that's so boring, can't we just play a small game of grounders?”

 

“Oh yeah because that's a smart idea.”

 

“Bud, we are currently playing games in an IKEA while blowing away Tony’s money. You are also standing beside Peter. What about any of this is smart?” Shuri looked at Harley.

 

They walked (like normal people) to a random aisle and found a stray cart and started loading it up with random boxes.

 

“Hey doofus catch!” Harley yelled before he yeeted a heavy box at Peter who yelled and dodged out of the way. This caused the box to hit other boxes on the other side of the aisle and make a group of boxes and display shelves tumble onto the ground giving off a big crashing noise.

 

“Shit. We gotta go.”

 

* * *

  


“Okay y’all, we are gonna pay and get the hell outta here before Shuri builds a damn castle or Peter sets fire to this damned building.” Harley said to the camera while Peter and Shuri loaded all of their items on the belt.

 

After about an hour (according to Peter, it was only a couple minutes) of the scanner beeping and registering all of the random-ass items from the cart(s) Harley whipped out Tony’s credit card and tapped it on the machine. It took a few seconds and when the purchase approved he slid it in his pocket and started walking to the exit.

 

“Hey asshole, come help us load this!” Shuri yelled, Peter just pushed the cart with ease (thanks to his spider strength.)

  


“How are we going to get this to the tower in this tiny car?” Shuri said.

 

“Call the avengers?” Peter suggested.

 

“No! We are absolutely not calling the avengers you dumbass.” Shuri slapped Peter over the back of his head.

 

“Hey! Not necessary!” Peter whined rubbing the back of his head. “Oh! I can call the quinjet!” Shuri seemed to survey the idea and Harley was just nodding his head like an eager puppy.

 

“Alright, I guess we are calling an entire fucking quinjet to IKEA.” Shuri said.

 

* * *

  
  


“Sir, there seems to have been a major payment made on your credit card.” JARVIS broke the silence in his lab.

 

“Say what?”

 

“There has been a payment of $4,206.90 dollars spent on your credit card.”

 

“Okay, that’s not a lot of money. Wait. Where?”

 

“At IKEA sir.”

 

“What the hell? Why would I buy something from IKEA?” Tony said getting sliding out from beneath a car. He wiped his hands on his pants and walked over to his computer.

 

“Sir, the quinjet has just been activated and has a location set on the nearest IKEA.”

 

“What the? Cancel the destination. Send it back here.”

 

“I can't seem to break the coding sir.” JARVIS replied. Tony looked up and waved his hands around in distress.

 

“What do you mean you can't break the coding? I made you, you should be able to break through any programming!”

 

“I have found a pattern of the code that matches one I have had problems with before.” JARVIS said. Tony slowly raised his head and made a noise of annoyance.

 

“Those three damn devil children!” Tony said before going out and sitting on the launchpad, waiting for three specific teenagers to show up.

 

* * *

  


“Was this a good idea?”

 

“Probably not.”

 

“We all die, you either kill yourself or get killed.”

 

* * *

  


When the quinjet finally got in range of the tower it slowed down and started to land when Peter noticed something out of the window. Harley was still recording when the quinjet touched down.

 

“Oh fuck. We are so dead.” Peter whispered as the back door came down showing a very annoyed and pissed of Tony Stark.

 

“So who’s idea was this?” Tony asked, is arms crossed over his chest.

 

“Peter’s!”

 

“Harley’s!”

 

“Harley’s!”

 

“Hey!” Harley yelled back.

 

“Sorry bud, two out of three.. It's your idea now.” Peter patted Harley on the shoulder.

 

“You know what? I am going to lay down. Maybe watch a movie. I do no have the energy to deal with this.” Tony said before walking into the tower and leaving. When he was gone, Peter started pushing a huge box.

 

“What are you doing?” Harley asked, pointing the camera at Peter.

 

“Taking this to his lab, we don't have a lot of time to build this shit so we gotta get it done fast.” Peter said pushing four stacked boxes through the tower doors.

 

“He’s right.”

 

* * *

  


Tony walked into the elevator with the intent to go finish the car he was fixing.

 

“Hey J, take me to the lab.”

 

When the elevator doors opened he stepped out and made his way to the lab door and stopped. Through the windows he saw a princess bunk bed set up with about five bookshelves surrounding it. There was a desk and an entire playground set up in his lab in the corner with about 16 carpets spread all over the floors.

 

“What the fuck.” he said to the room.

 

There were hundreds of paintings set up, some were on the ceiling and all over the walls. _Peter._ He thought to himself. There were even curtains hung up on the wall.

 

He turned and saw a car bunk bed and a whole living room set up. There was a TV, a couch, a coffee table and whatever else made up a living room all placed in the near center of the lab. He looked around trying to find the car and his regular desk and tech only to find everything crammed into a corner by the entrance.

 

When he walked further into the lab he saw a head of blond curls buried under a blanket on the top bunk of the princess bed.

 

“Found one, now where are the other two headaches.” He grumbled.

 

“Peter is out on patrol.” a voice startled him.

 

“What the hell?” He turned around a saw Shuri climb out of an [egg chair](https://www.google.com/search?q=orange+egg+chair+ikea&rlz=1C1JZAP_enCA777CA777&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=bGLQXbJtj2OAMM%253A%252C0SsfXjXMro5UNM%252C_&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kQxObr2Vrl6U9Sm4ULJiaxvaqDGGA&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiPjpju8oziAhWmwlQKHToXBdgQ9QEwAHoECAkQBA#imgrc=bGLQXbJtj2OAMM:&vet=1) that has a cover on it. “Okay, now I found the other headache.” Shuri just smiled went over to a swing set and sat down on the swing slowly swaying back and forth.

 

“So what made you guys think turning my lab into a children's room was a good idea?

 

“Harley.” Shuri said.

 

“Hey! It was for YouTube. That is a very valid reason!”

 

“Oh look the gremlin awakens.” Tony said to Harley who just poked his head above the railing of the bunk bed. “J, call Peter, get him in the tower.”

 

“On it sir.”

 

* * *

  


Peter swung into the tower and walked into the lab like nothing happened.

 

“Hey Mr. Stark!” he waved at the billionaire.

 

“Don't hey me. You all are going to clean this up and put my lab back the way it was or you are grounded from the suit, Shuri will be sent back to Wakanda and Harley will have all potatoes provoked forever.” Tony said as he walked out of the room.

 

“Oof.” Peter said before he started moving Tony’s desk back to where it was.

 

It didn't take long to put Tony’s things back together, They left the bunk beds and playground but dragged the shelves into a different room where the walls were fireproof.

 

* * *

  


“Sir, there seems to be a fire and extreme measures of energy in the west lab.”

 

“Are you fucking kidding me!”

 

* * *

  


Shuri and Harley were fighting each other with lightsabers that they made really quickly while Peter was burning the book shelves. Harley had a Go Pro on recording the entire thing. Then the doors opened and crashed into the walls with a fuming Tony Stark walking in to the room.

 

“I leave you guys for three hours an- WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?”

 

“We are reenacting the battle on Mustafar from Revenge of the Sith!” Harley said.

 

“Peter’s on fire control.” Shuri also put in.

 

“What is he burning?”

 

“The bookshelves.” Peter replied.

 

“Why can't you people be normal? I don't know how to handle you gremlins.”

 

“You love us!” Peter said.

 

“Whatever.” Tony rubbed a hand down his face. “Now clean this up, and no building anything. Also I want to see how those work.” Tony started walking to the door tapping DUM-E to start the fire extinguisher.

 

“I guess we have to put out the fire then.” Peter complained.

 

* * *

 

 

**Noobmaster69**

this video is better than the god of thunder.

 

**theunknown**

the furniture doenst get paid enough for this

 

**Amercas-sassy-ass-pants**

should have burned down the store while you had the chance

 

**Buckaroniandcheese**

yall this video cleared my skin

 

**Tonystarkdeservesbetter**

i didnt know tony stark was adopting animals????

     |

**Steverogersstan**

     He isnt asshat

          |

**Tonystarkdeservedbetter**

          It was a joke calm ur tits

 

**satans-poptarts**

skdjfjdsdkf this blew my wig off

 

**lunathermodynamics**

Peter is so smol i wanna bury him up in a bunch of blankets and make sure he doesnt blow away.

 

**gabriel-is-bae**

Tony stark dad mode activated

 

**bigstarkenergy**

the hair in this video is on fleek, look at tonys floof and peters curls

 

**girlnic**

Shuri tearing apart remotes and building a damn phone gives me life

 

**bellhina-63**

Harley emits dumbass thot energy

 

**IKEA-is-illuminati**

why does a furniture store manufacture their own screwdrivers to put together their furniture???

 

**randomcitizen420**

they should have shown footage of them failing to put together a bunk bed

     |

**spidermanswingingstar**

     what makes u think that.

          |

**randomcitizen420**

          look at them they are disasters, there no way they could peice together furniture.

               |

**spidermanswingingstar**

               o u rite.

**Mr Beast**

are these competitors.

     |

**petreparkour**

     feel threatened yet?

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we really been lit rally and not having a gucci time
> 
> \- peter's inner thoughts when he heard a lawn mower rev up a few aisles down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i must confess that this chapter has been sitting in my google docs getting dusty for a while, so i added somethings and decided to post it because i am a big dumb that sucks
> 
> anyways i really hope yall forgive me for taking forever
> 
> and enjoy this really bad chapter that like isnt even funny because i dont know how to be a comedian and i oop

_ It was a bright and sunny day on a Friday morning, the three musketeers were out on their way to the local hardware shop- _

 

“Are you narrating?”

 

“Shdfskdjfvbs no.”

 

“Did u just keyboard smash out loud?”

 

“Skdfjsdlkhfsldgh no.”

 

“You just did it again.”

 

“No I did not.”

 

“Can you two dipwads shut up so I can figure out what we need?” Shuri’s annoyed voice kept Peter from key smashing out loud anymore much to the boy's own dismay.

 

“What is there to figure out? We are simply going to home depot and buying items that will make mr starks hair go full fifty shades of grey.” Peter replied, pushing a cart through the doors of Home Depot.

 

The three walked into the store, ignoring the weird glances coming from workers. They were just three teenagers missing school (except shuri. lucky bitch) to complete very important tasks. Their first stop was the plants sections because Peter believes that there might be some spiders hanging around there.

 

“Alright we are going into the plant section because Peter has a fucked up obsession with spiders” Harley says to the camera he is holding.

 

“It's not effed up, they are nice people and deserve respect.” Peter corrects Harley.

 

“They’re not people retard.” Harley said as they made their way to the plants and water fountains.

 

Shuri stuck her hand under one of the fountains and cupped her hands so they could fill up with water and flung it at Harley, who screeched and ran behind Peter who was looking at a cactus.

 

“This is boring, why do we have to watch you look at plants.” Shuri complained, “There are better things to do, there is paint here, chains,  _ ladders on wheels _ ”

 

“Because plants are pretty.” Peter said picking up a small plant in a pot. “Hey catch!” Peter yelled at Shuri who dodged the plant and it smashed across the floor. Peter’s eyes widened along with Harley’s, and Shuri’s. “Oh shit.” he said as he just booked it across the store to the section with a bunch of wooden planks. Harley and Shuri following closely behind.

 

“You fuckin’ retard!” Harley screeched at him. “We haven't even been here for half an hour and your gonna get us kicked out!”

 

“She was supposed to catch it!” Peter screamed back.

 

“How was I supposed to know that!?” Shuri yelled at him knocking over a rather tall wooden plank in frustration.

 

“BECAUSE I SAID ‘HEY CATCH’ YOU DUMBASS” he scolded back and he picked up a long wooden stick and went to hit the shelf with it when Shuri grabbed a stick and hit it against his. 

 

“Don't cause a scene, Harley is still filming us.” Shuri told Peter who apologised and put the stick down.

 

“Aw no, you two should have a sword fight with the sticks!” Harley suggested. They were walking quietly down the aisle so they wouldn't continue to draw attention to themselves. Harley was still filming everything and occasionally saying something really stupid that made Shuri sigh out loud. Peter was humming quietly to himself and he saw a tall ladder on wheels ahead.

 

“You guys…” he looked at the other two and their smiles grew freakishly large.

 

“Yes.” Harley said.

 

“Who wants to go up top and who wants to help me push it?” Shuri asked.

 

“I’ll go, I have the camera!” Harley said as he ripped the “Caution, do not climb” sign and he marched his way up to the top of the step ladder and sat on the top platform holding onto the orange bars. “Don't kill me ‘kay?”

 

“No promises.” Shuri said as her and Peter hold the side of the tall step stool and push. The wheels make it easy to turn and they pick up speed really fast, soon they come close to the end of the aisle and turn causing Harley to lose balance and  _ almost _ fall off. They keep pushing and spin the ladder a few times as they go. All three of the teenagers are laughing their asses off and surprisingly, none of the store workers have seen or heard them or asked them to leave yet, so that is a win.

 

“Holy shit this is fast!” Harley yells from the top. The ladder almost tips over and Peter grabs it while repeatedly saying ‘shit’ and Harley gives a rather girly scream. “What the fuck? I said dont kill me you assholes!” he screams from the top at the two and Peter sticks his tongue out at him while Shuri yells at him to get down.

 

“I think someones coming, so we need to split up and run or hide.” she tells them and the three break off in different directions faster than Tony Stark could say ‘I am Iron Man’.

 

Peter runs off into the patio furniture section, Harley is off somewhere by the drills, and Shuri is by the paints. Peter sits on one of the patio swings and takes out his phone to browse the meme subreddit and waits for Shuri to come find him because now he is comfortable and too lazy to get up.

 

Harley spends a lot of time looking at drills and the different pieces, he picks a few up and presses the button to turn them on and watches the top spin really fast. He puts it down and moves on just minding his own business continuing to record everything.

 

Shuri is picking up pails of paint and putting them in an empty cart she found nearby. There’s red, blue, gold, beige, black and white paint pails in the cart. She also went and grabbed one of every paper colour sample of the paints, her cart was filled with paints and samples and some of the samples where falling out the sides of the cart and leaving a trail behind. 

 

Harley was walking down the aisle and he found the trail of samples and continued to follow it, while rambling to the camera about memes. Then he saw Shuri with the cart and zoomed in on her face and the camera was shaking because Harley couldn't stop laughing.

 

“What are you laughing at?” he called out to her.

 

She just continued laughing and slapped her knee pointing towards an outdoor gazebo that was set up as display, there was a patio swing and on the swing making no movement was Peter. Obviously her paint was forgotten about when the two walked over to Peter who was deadass fucking  _ sleeping _ in a home depot.

 

“Dude what the shit, is he actually sleeping?” Harley took the camera and was recording a close up of his face. Shuri nodded her head while still silently laughing, she had a pack of sharpies in the cart with the paints (that she left behind) so she told Harley to give her a minute and she dashed off. Harley stood there talking to himself/the camera about Peter being a dumbass for a bit before Shuri returned.

 

“Alright I hath returneth.” Shuri announced quietly with an open sharpie in her hand. She took a closer step to Peter and the felt tip hovered over Peters forehead before he opened his eyes and leaped about six whole feet in the air while shouting out a curse. Shuri and Harley startled and backed away with a shout while Peter landed in his “Spider-Man pose”.

 

“Boy what the fuck!” Harley screeched while dropping the camera.

 

“Oop, why yall wake me like that?” Peter asked as he stood up and sat back down on the patio swing and lying back down to fall back asleep. “I’nz tired.”

 

“Bro we are in a fucking home depot you can't just sleep in here.” Shuri laughed at him. 

 

“Mmm yes I can. I inz tiredz”

 

“No you can't.”

 

“No, I think I can.” Peter and Shuri argued back and forth, obviously waiting until one of them caved.

 

“Why the hell are you sleeping anyways?” Harley questioned. He had the camera in place and it was still rolling.

 

“Hng because i was up late watching iCarly reruns.” Peter mumbled as he turned away. Harley and Shuri exchanged a glance before pushing the swing so Peter would fall off and he hit the floor flat on his ass with a small ‘thud’.

 

“Hey what the shit!” he yelled rubbing at his eyes.

 

“First of all, iCarly is a shit show and second get up we have one more thing to do before we dip on this party.” Harley yanked Peter up on his feet and he was a little unbalanced from being tired but that didn't matter. Peter groaned and Shuri just skipped behind them as they walked to their final destination.

 

\---------------------

 

“And here what stands before you is fibreglass insulation!” Harley gestured to the big fluffy pink cushion looking things on the large shelves. “It tastes like cotton candy!” 

 

Shuri sighed in disappointment and Peter’s face was still split with a huge smile.

 

“This is probably the most boring idea you have had yet.” Shuri deadpanned.

 

“Look at Peter though he is enjoying it!” Harley pointed the camera at Peter who was walking up to the insulation. “NO DON'T TOUCH IT!”

 

“But I wanna feel it!” Peter whined. “It looks so fluffy. Fuck the tiny glass shards in there.” he walked up to the large square of thick insulation and was going to touch it before Shuri yanked him away.

 

“Be smarter you idiot.” she whacked him over the head and dragged him away from the cotton candy looking death bed.

 

“Hey I was only going to poke it! I know what that is, but my curiosity doesn't!” he defended himself. They continued walking away leaving Harley in the dust so they could go into the wood aisle. Again.

 

\---------------------

 

Harley was mocking Shuri as she left him behind and he just shrugged and turned around.

 

“Fine I’ll just do this by myself.” he spoke to himself. “There’s perfectly working ride on lawn mowers here, I will just use Tony’s card to by materials and get that sucker started.”

 

\---------------------

  
  


Why are we back in the wood aisle?” Peter asked. “Weren't we already here today?”

 

“Um maybe, I can't remember.” Shuri continued pulling him along. “But we need wood to build a stage in the tower.”

 

“Why do we need a stage?”

 

“Performance issues.” was all she replied with.

  
  


\---------------------

 

Halfway across the store a motor could be heard revving up and a quiet shriek, and that is when Peter decided that home depot was a bad idea.

 

\---------------------

 

“So I was thinking we could use this wood and get a certain type of metal to support it. Then cover the top with a carpet.” Shuri explained to an employee who’s name tag read ‘Dave’ and he was writing down measurements and the type of wood and metal beams.

 

“Ooh put coloured LED lights on it!” Peter chipped in. It was at that moment his super hearing picked up on the motor in the store and he froze. His hand reached for Shuri and pulled her away from the worker while she was still finishing up some final details.

 

“Yep, I will be ready to bring it in when it gets dropped off.” Shuri finished before turning around and looking at Peter. “What? I was ordering supplies!”

 

“Do you hear that?” Peter asked. Shuri’s stunned face was the only answer he needed before they started booking it across the store.

 

“Um Security to aisle 54 please.” the voice of an obviously concerned employee came through the speakers.

 

\---------------------

 

“AMERICA FUCK YEAH!” Harley sang while driving the lawn mower at top speed through the empty aisles. He did a few donuts in an open space and continued. It didn't take him long to get the display mower to actually start working, all he needed was a battery and a few things. This is what constantly hanging around Tony Stark does to you.

 

He turned a corner to an aisle he clearly saw was previously empty and saw Shuri standing there with her arms crossed with Peter standing behind her obviously trying not to laugh.

 

“You fucktard!” Shuri yelled at him, losing her threatening pose. “Your gonna get us kicked out!” Harley stopped the mower and jumped off and taking the camera off of the makeshift stand before running over to the two.

 

“Dude we gotta get out of here.” Harley lightly punched Peter in the shoulder before booking it out of the store. The other two closely followed.

 

\---------------------

 

“So just a question.” Tony said to the three when they came up to the top floor of the tower. “Why home depot?” he was sitting on the main couch

 

“Because it fun.” Peter answered. “And their cameras are really easy to hack.” 

 

“So you three hacked their cameras?” Tony put down his stark pad to look at them and the three kids nodded their heads. “I dont know if I should be proud or disappointed.” he shook his head while laughing and left the room.

 

“Does he know about the stage yet?” Peter whispered to Shuri once he left.

 

“Nope.” Shuri responded popping the ‘p’ with a wide grin on her face.

 

“Yo, what stage?” Harley pushed into the conversation. Shuri just put her palm on his face and pushed his head away.

 

“Get out of here dumbass. While you were on your hardware rampage with your barbie tricycle we were ordering wood.” Shuri told him, and Harley scoffed.

 

“It’s not a barbie tricycle!” Harley said putting a hand over his heart clearly offended.

 

\---------------------

 

**1 month later**

 

“WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A STAGE IN THE AVENGERS TRAINING ROOM?” Tony yelled his voice coming in over the intercom that lead to his lab. Which was where the three stooges sat laughing their asses off.

  
  
  


**steverogersstan**

If i was given tony’s credit card i would have just bought home depot, rip to those three but im different

**bitchyouthot**

Country boy i lovee youuu

          |

**Fasterthanflash**

           What the shit does that have to do with the video?????

                     |

**bitchyouthot**

                      Harley is from tennessee you big dumb

  
  


**noobmaster69**

You guys should 1v1 me on fortnite

 

**Mr Beast**

Meet me in the walmart parking lot, friday at 7.

|

**petreparkour**

          It would be my honour

 

**chefboyardenes**

not to be horny on main but harley keener on that lawn mower tho

 

**wacanada**

shuri is the queen we need but not the one we deserve… smh

 

**tonystankismyreligon**

are we gonna ignore the fact that tony sits around on his couch playign aquapark.io?

          |

**petreparkour**

          yes. yes we are.

 

**curiouscap**

Wait, so yall really out here actually building stages?

 

**nat-aro-manoff5678**

Thank you for the content my fellow gen z peers

 

**buckaroniandcheese**

This vid watered my crops and twitted my tweets

 

**Pewdiepie**

Meme review host 2k19

          |

**petreparkour**

          blue shirt kid holds my heart

 

**avengersbullshit**

and i oop- and i oop- and i oop skskskksksks

          |

**sebastainstanstan**

           Satan please back the fuck off this sever

                    |

**imagiraffe**

                     What the fuck does this have to do with the video??????

 

**kinkykeener**

If no one will adress teh fact that harley literallyturned on a  _ fucking lawn mower _ and  _ drove it around the damn store _ then i will…..

          |

**stophammertime**

           Ur user name wtf sksfskdjfkjdgkdjf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall i really reccomend my  tumblr  its odd and gen z 
> 
> and ofc comment for next store ideas because im dumb and need some

**Author's Note:**

> oof my  tumblr 
> 
> i have also decided to ask if yall want a series of these idiots disrupting the peace in different stores (walmart, lush etc) so comment if u think that would be cool.
> 
> (note: excuse the link if it doesnt work, my dumbass is constantly changing the url so just jot that down)


End file.
